Weapons-Grade Sarcasm

Cast your vote for 2009's Douchebag of the Year

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:24:31 GMT

Writer's Block: Reflections

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:15:46 GMT

What are your fondest memories of 2009? What were the low points? All told, what were the most significant events of 2009? Do you wish you could do it all over again?

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Fondest memories? '09 was a pretty boring year in that regard, but I have to say losing ten pounds (so far) has me pretty stoked. I've been working pretty hard to lose weight, so having it hammered home that I'm getting actual results is a real shot in the arm.

Low points: my mom was very sick for most of the year, in and out of the hospital since June. Her doctor was convinced she had cancer, even though they never found anything. What ended up being wrong was something that was actually pretty simple (protein & albumin deficiency) and easy to correct, and now she's good as new. On the bright side, she had every conceivable medical test done to her, and there is absolutely nothing else wrong with her.

Most significant events: Personally? Obama's inauguration, the Steelers getting the Six Pack, Penguins winning the Stanley Cup and getting my Bachelor's degree.

Do you wish you could do it over again? No, because I was unemployed the entire year. If I could do it over again with the exception that I actually got that sweet job at Comcast that I interviewed for in March, okay, but otherwise...no.

Happy Slapsgiving, Everyone

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:45:18 GMT

I hope that those of you who celebrate had a good one!

Writer's Block: So funny I forgot to laugh

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:16:22 GMT

If a friend cracks a corny joke, do you force yourself to laugh politely? What about if it's your boss or teacher? Do you get annoyed if someone else pretends to be amused?

Submitted By maxwearsboots

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I just pretend I didn't get it. But if it's someone I can be honest with, I razz them about it and say something like "ha ha, you're a real commodian" or make a toilet-flushing noise.

Writer's Block: The one that got away

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:55:59 GMT

Do you believe in the concept of a soulmate? Do you think you've met him or her? Do you ever worry that "the one" got away?

View 1849 Answers

No. If I haven't found "the one" by now, I'm probably not going to. That said, if I find someone, I want him to really knock my socks off. I don't want to settle for someone I'm not really compatible with just to avoid being alone.

To shill or not to shill

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:19:55 GMT

I recently saw a post from the Paid Members group saying that LJ users can make extra money by allowing ads on their pages. Seeing as I could use all the help I can get in the money department, I'm thinking about it. I want to get people's opinions, though, because I know there are plenty of folks who hate seeing pages plastered with ads and I don't want to be inconsiderate.

View Poll: To shill or not to shill

Writer's Block: Finders keepers?

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:10:14 GMT

If you found a $100 at the library, would you pocket it or turn it in? What about at a diner or pub? Confess!

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Is it $100 cash? If so, who would I know to give it to? Unless someone runs up yelling "oh no, I just lost $100? Did you find it?" there wouldn't be much that could be done. If I were to leave it there, someone else would come along and pocket it, and the person I turned it in to might do the same. I'd keep it, but I'd donate a portion of it to charity to pay it forward a little. If I get something for nothing, I feel obligated to share it.

Writer's Block: End of the World as We Know It

Fri, 01 May 2009 22:04:36 GMT

Robert Frost speculated about the world ending in fire or in ice. Which do you think is likely to end us all: meteorite, global warming, nuclear weapons, zombies, or the superflu?

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I say combine the zombies and the supervirus so we can go out Resident Evil-style. If that's not cool enough, throw in some ninjas.

MLF

Writer's Block: Swine Times

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:10:55 GMT

Are you worried about catching the swine flu? Do you have a plan for avoiding contagion or dealing with quarantine?

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I don't think the swine flu problem is nearly as bad as it's being made out to be by the alarmist media. They're always either taking a miserable situation and beating us over the head with it until we beg for mercy or taking a situation that's not as bad as it seems and turning it into the Apocalypse. First it was how we're headed for the next Great Depression, then it was shootings and now this. When this loses steam, they find something else to scare the crap out of us. Maybe they'll say the sky is falling.

If in the event I get sick, I will go to the doctor, get some anti-viral meds, feel lousy for a few days and recover like most everyone else with this flu is doing. It's not Captain Trips, people.

MLF

Writer's Block: Divided Self

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 02:17:41 GMT

Do you behave differently online than you do in real life?

Submitted By tinysaur

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I'm far more articulate online than I am in real life. I'm a much better writer than a speaker, and no one interrupts me while I'm typing a post.

MLF

Writer's Block: What a Way to Make a Living

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 01:22:34 GMT

What's the worst job you've ever had?

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Way back in the day I held a job for exactly two days. It was one of those deals where I had to take cookbooks out and travel door-to-door trying to get businesses to buy them. It was like telemarketing, except the weather was freezing cold, the verbal abuse was even more condescending and you weren't reimbursed for gas. Oh, and if the business refused to give back the sample cookbook, you had to pay for it out of your own pocket. Turned me off of sales for life.

MLF

Writer's Block: AKA

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:43:23 GMT

What's the story behind your username?

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Back when I first started watching CSI I got interested in the science, and while Googling, I came across the case of Madame LaFarge, who poisoned her husband with arsenic. The case was the first one to use forensics in the investigation. No, I have no desire to poison anyone, I just liked the name and it stuck. "Penny Dreadful" was taken from a cool B-grade horror movie I saw with Rachel Miner and Mimi Rogers. It first appeared in a series of books, which I didn't realize until very recently.

Not to be confused with Madame DeFarge, the character from A Tale of Two Cities.

MLF

Writer's Block: Animal Instinct

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 21:57:31 GMT

What creature would you choose as your spirit animal?

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Snuffalufagus.

But seriously, I don't know. I'd say a cat, but everyone is probably saying a cat, so I won't.

MLF

Writer's Block: Dream Trip

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:39:21 GMT

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

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There are tons of places around the world that I'd love to visit. I think I'd start with Japan. I'd need a Magic Translator, though. Or maybe a Babelfish (the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy version, not the Web site). From there, I'd go to New Zealand. After that, who knows?

Has the attitude toward Americans changed any in the rest of the world, or do I have to lie and say I'm Canadian?

MLF

Writer's Block: Sounds Good to Me

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 02:38:51 GMT

Persnickety, flibbertigibbet, lollygag—some words are just more fun to say. What's your favorite word?

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Rutabaga! And malarkey.

MLF

Writer's Block: Heart to Heart

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:14:35 GMT

Valentine's Day: love it or hate it?

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I neither love it nor hate it. It's a stupid, commercial holiday where businesses try to tell you that buying their product will make you a better boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. It's especially strident this year, because these businesses are desperate to stay afloat in this economy. Your love for your SO is no more special on February 14th than it is on the other 364 days of the year. Who needs an excuse to buy presents, go out to dinner, tell someone you love them or shag like minks?

What I DO hate about it is the smug couples who use the day as an excuse to rub everyone's noses in how oh-so-blissfully HAPPY they are, and how it's just too darn bad that all those poor, pathetic single people can't share in that kind of ecstasy. News flash, people: not all single people are that way because they can't find love or missed the boat. Some of us WANT to be alone.